Day#12: "I am Switzerland"

   For any Twilight fans out there, I'm sure you recognize the Bella-quote in the title to this post. Yes, I am a nerd, and yes, I am definitely looking forward to the premier of Breaking Dawn this fall. Anyway, that is way beside the point. The fact is, I have never felt more like the mutual Swiss grounds than I have this week. Yesterday my housemate pulled me aside to tell me that she was moving out to live with a a single "host-mom". Clio, bless her heart, has had a pretty rough week. Between getting bedbugs, being allergic to the bites, having to wash every article of clothing in her room, and coming down with a cold, I absolutely understand her needing to start a fresh. But of course, Marion, our host-mother, was quite offended that she wanted to leave. So here I am in the middle, seeing and understanding both sides of the argument and trying to be supportive of both. Clio needed me for moral support when she was talking to Marion and Jean-Paul, but then I had to make sure they didn't think I was siding with her and that I'm still perfectly fine living here.

   The truth of the matter is, though I'm sad to see Clio go, I know it will be better for me because I will be forced to speak more French. While she was living here, though my host-family speaks French, I was still surrounded by English between Clio and the rest of the students at the Institute. I am so determined to immerse myself in the language and culture as much as I can. This new-found determination is forcing me to be more intentional about it with each day. So maybe I will actually be somewhat close to fluency by the time I must return to the States. I don't think I have ever been this willing to work so hard for something. I'm so scared of loosing it when I leave here. But I'm not worrying about that right now. I'll deal with it when the time comes. 

   Tomorrow I leave for... well, I don't really know exactly where it is... with my host family. I think, from what I could understand, we're staying the weekend at their friends' beach house...? It was in French, so I understood just the gist of what they were telling me. Wherever we're headed, it should be pretty fun. Now that Clio isn't coming anymore, it's up to me to open up and start speaking that French. I'm excited because I feel like this will help me get closer to the family. I'm especially excited to get to know Chloe better. Chloe is my 15-year-old host-sister. This week I've been slowly getting to know her more and more. She is no different than every other 15-year-old in America (a.k.a. dramatic). She is playful and a little mischievous. She often pokes and prods, and does things that she knows will make me laugh. I want to play back, but unfortunately my language skills aren't quite there yet. I'm hoping that the more my French improves, the closer she and I will get. 

   Though it hasn't been a super eventful week here in Aix, my dear Rome, Ga, has been exploding with news. God is moving and workings in huge and unexpected ways at Shorter University. Lives are being changed, souls saved. The Believers there are making war with the forces of the enemy, and through our Lord, there is victory. God is good. God is merciful. Jesus saves. He has already won the war. All glory be His beautiful Name! I have been so filled with emotion by the things I am hearing. I rejoice with those who have put their faith in the Lord, but my heart aches to be there. I feel like I'm missing out on everything. I was afraid of that. My first instinct is to be discouraged because while great things are happening in Rome, and God is using my brothers and sisters to further His Kingdom, I feel useless here. I'm so hungry to see mountains moved, ocean floors dry, chains broken. Oh, how impatient I am. For I have been here only two weeks. However, I know that three months will past quickly, too quickly. My heart longs to see the fruit of my labor here, but maybe that is not my role. Maybe I am just the sower, and the harvest will come after I depart. The question is, will I be content with center stage being the role of another? Will I be satisfied to play the background in the this Divine Drama?

   Continuing to pray for boldness to speak out, and unconditional love to pour into the people surrounding me. Rejoicing with the angels in Heaven at the adoption of two new brothers: Kyle Stonecipher and Sean Avery Malloy. 

But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which He loved us, (5)even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ -- by grace you have been saved -- (6)and raised us up with Him and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, (7)so that in the coming ages He might show the immeasurable riches of His grace and kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. (8)For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, (9)not a result of works, so that no one may boast. (10)For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. (Ephesians 2:4-10)

Grace and peace with with you!

-B