So now that I have been to all of my classes, I can determine how I think the semester will go. Yesterday's classes were pretty chill. I had my French Honors seminar at 12:30pm, then Contemporary French Civ. at 3:30pm. In the two hours between classes, I decided to get a small something to eat (baguette, of course!) and explore a little. Actually, that's totally false, I was going to head back to the school, but somehow got turned around and ended up wandering around a full hour before I found it again. This made for the second time I got myself lost yesterday, after having difficulty finding the school for my 12:30 class. I'm sure I was a sight to see, walking around in circles around the city with my very American, very heavy backpack, and a foot and half of bread in my hands. I may have laughed at myself a little. Anyway, when I got back to my hosthome, I felt rather confident about my classes, deeming that they seemed easy and this semester would be a breeze in the academic area. Well, that was only one of my classes and my seminar. Today, I returned home with a much different perspective. I had three afternoon classes right in a row, and fought against sleep for the first two. I had a rather abrupt reality check that my French hasn't improved that much since I've been here, for it was incredibly difficult to understand the professors for my French media and Translation classes. I started having flashbacks from the French literature class I took at Berry last semester when everyone in the class seemed to understand what was going on, everyone except me, that is. My French Media class started out on a good foot when I thought I was in Translation for the first ten minutes of class... yeah... embarrassing moment of the day.
Let's just face it, today wasn't the best day I've had since I've been here. Dangit! And I thought it would be all sunshine and daisies. On top of my disastrous academic day, and me being so tired, I also failed at speaking French to anyone. My hostfamily might think I'm a little retarded. I want to speak to them, I really do! I want to find out about their lives, hear their stories, get to know their hearts, but I just can't. I already struggle asking questions and getting to know people in English, so I'm completely lost in French. Ah! If only I could skip the learning process and be a genius that just knows how to do things like speak other languages and play the guitar. Life would be to good! But no, I suppose God thinks it better for me to be normal and learn things at a slight slower more difficult pace than the genius people. Bummer. If I can actually make it out of my shell and stay out, then hopefully I will actually be close to fluency by the time I come home in December.
I'm so sorry this entry has been mostly made up of my complaining and venting. For what, really, do I have to complain about? I am blessed beyond belief and comprehension. Not only has my Lord blessed me with the opportunity to come here, to Aix-en-Provence, France, to study and learn French, but He has also chosen to use me as an instrument for His Kingdom in the lives of the people who surround me. Last night, I spent 2 hours sitting at a cafe with Clio, talking about God and differing beliefs. I was able to share my faith with her, and all that I believe. I've been praying that I would have to chance to explain to her that I don't no practice a religion, or follow the Bible as a book of rules. I am a follower of Christ, not a "Christian." I have an intimate relationship with the Almighty Creator and God of this universe, not a religion. I have been praying, pleading with God for boldness in the face of confrontation and the possibility of disagreeing with someone or them disagreeing with me. Then, last night we debated, discussed, pondered, and shared. It was incredible. She asked me hard questions, and I, her. But God is so good and gave me the words to say. I pray with all my heart that a seed was planted and that she hasn't been able to stop thinking about the things we talked about. I expect and hope for more conversations of the like.
I continue to pray for boldness, strength and understanding. I am lonely, today, so lonely. All I want is to connect with home somehow. But God is good... He is all I need. He is my peace and joy; my friend and my love... He's here with me when everyone else is an ocean away. These things I must grasp onto and trust in even when I feel alone. So here I am, trying to rest in Him...
Peace and love!
-B
Let's just face it, today wasn't the best day I've had since I've been here. Dangit! And I thought it would be all sunshine and daisies. On top of my disastrous academic day, and me being so tired, I also failed at speaking French to anyone. My hostfamily might think I'm a little retarded. I want to speak to them, I really do! I want to find out about their lives, hear their stories, get to know their hearts, but I just can't. I already struggle asking questions and getting to know people in English, so I'm completely lost in French. Ah! If only I could skip the learning process and be a genius that just knows how to do things like speak other languages and play the guitar. Life would be to good! But no, I suppose God thinks it better for me to be normal and learn things at a slight slower more difficult pace than the genius people. Bummer. If I can actually make it out of my shell and stay out, then hopefully I will actually be close to fluency by the time I come home in December.
I'm so sorry this entry has been mostly made up of my complaining and venting. For what, really, do I have to complain about? I am blessed beyond belief and comprehension. Not only has my Lord blessed me with the opportunity to come here, to Aix-en-Provence, France, to study and learn French, but He has also chosen to use me as an instrument for His Kingdom in the lives of the people who surround me. Last night, I spent 2 hours sitting at a cafe with Clio, talking about God and differing beliefs. I was able to share my faith with her, and all that I believe. I've been praying that I would have to chance to explain to her that I don't no practice a religion, or follow the Bible as a book of rules. I am a follower of Christ, not a "Christian." I have an intimate relationship with the Almighty Creator and God of this universe, not a religion. I have been praying, pleading with God for boldness in the face of confrontation and the possibility of disagreeing with someone or them disagreeing with me. Then, last night we debated, discussed, pondered, and shared. It was incredible. She asked me hard questions, and I, her. But God is so good and gave me the words to say. I pray with all my heart that a seed was planted and that she hasn't been able to stop thinking about the things we talked about. I expect and hope for more conversations of the like.
I continue to pray for boldness, strength and understanding. I am lonely, today, so lonely. All I want is to connect with home somehow. But God is good... He is all I need. He is my peace and joy; my friend and my love... He's here with me when everyone else is an ocean away. These things I must grasp onto and trust in even when I feel alone. So here I am, trying to rest in Him...
Peace and love!
-B
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