Monday, October 24, 2011

Day #51: Over the Hill

   With midterms finished and in the past, I have realized that we are nearing the downward slope of this semester abroad. Fall break begins this Friday, and after that there will be only a month and 10 days left. How time flies! I would prefer it if it slowed down just a tad.There is still so much left to do, places to go, things to learn, people to meet. Now, more than ever, is the time to take advantage of every moment, every opportunity, every conversation. Especially if it involves speaking French!

   I hate to say, but most of this past week is a blur. Each day had its own unique high and low points, yet it was so packed that it came and went in a flash. Last Saturday, the 15th, I watched The Holiday (in French, of course) with Chloe. Definitely a highlight. She seemed to love it nearly as much as I do, except that when I would burst into laughter or nearly start crying at certain scenes, she would look over at me with an air that said "vraiment??" Which can be translated as the French way of saying, "really??". But whether or not that was the defining moment of my sanity (or lack thereof) in her mind, I hope to watch more films with her. It was a good bonding experience. Monday kick-off the dreaded week of midterms. I had three tests in a row on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday; a school lecture Wednesday, and church Wednesday night. Then I could finally breath again.
 
   I had no class on Thursday, so I met up with Mackenzie and Andy for coffee when they got out of class that evening. What a blessing that night was! We just sat and chatted and got to know each other a little bit. Mackenzie had to leave early, but Andy and I stayed a little longer, and I had the chance to hear some of her story, and in turn, I got to share some of mine. At one point, I found myself in the middle of trying to explain my faith and what my relationship with Christ really is. I remember fumbling for words that actually made sense. When I opened up about my beliefs, she did as well. But what an answer to prayer that entire conversation was. Early that day, I was so burdened with the thought that maybe I wasn't making an impact at all, and I kept asking if He really shines through me, or if I look like everyone else. I remember asking God to show me the seeds I have planted, if any at all. And then there was Andy. She told me that really respects me for my faith, and for actually sticking to it so fervently. Sweet Andy, one of the people who has seen me at my very worst, has seen Christ in me. Because of her words, I have been able to embrace the truth that my Lord is bigger than any and every mistake, and will reveal Himself and work in whatever circumstances. Now I know that He won't hold back from doing mighty works, despite my own unbelief.

   Ever since coffee with the girls, I have been blessed with sharing in great conversations and fond memories all weekend. On Friday I invited my sweet friend Shayla over for lunch. She is an intern at ICCP (the American church) and has an absolute heart of gold. A simple lunch of stuffed crepes turned into three hours of talking, laughing, fellowshiping, and listening to heart-wrenching Jesus music. Being a person who loves to tell stories, I naturally love to hear them as well. I thoroughly enjoyed hearing about Shayla's life, her family, her passions, and her heart. She has been such a huge encouragement to me. As I told her my story, God confirmed things in my heart that I have been heavily doubting over the past few weeks. Who knew??

   For the first time in three weeks, I woke up in time for the bus on Saturday! I was able to participate in the day-trip to St. Remy. We took the 7:55 bus to Arles where stopped to get coffee, then headed to the market to buy picnic supplies for lunch. Then we got on another bus to St. Remy, the small town in Provence where Van Gogh was admitted into an asylum, and also where he painted over 300 of his works. After eating the traditional lunch of bread, cheese, fruit, and wine, we ventured all around the town, following a map of sites where Van Gogh had painted. We took a little break at some Roman ruins, then headed to the asylum where, come to find out, they still treat patients and do art therapy.
 One of Van Gogh's paintings and the supposed scene of its creation
 The asylum where Van Gogh painted "Starry Night".. no big deal
 I really wouldn't mind being forced to live here
Oh, Van Gogh, you're so funny!
 The group! (Roman ruins)

   My host parents left on Thursday for Italy, leaving me alone in the house. Marion, once again, informed me that I could have friends over on Saturday night, so that's exactly what I did. Since it isn't my house, I didn't feel comfortable inviting a lot of people, so I only asked those who I typically spend most of my time with. And it ended up being amazing, much like last time. We made enchiladas, mexican rice, chips, and homemade pico de gallo. I was really nervous about the food because I love mexican so much that I can get pretty critical. But it turned out being positively delightful. I was very impressed with our cooking skills. I was even more impressed when my host family decided to eat the leftovers tonight for dinner and told me that it was "tres, tres bon"! Anyway, after dinner, we practiced our swing dancing, led by Martin who happens to be a man of every kind of talent you can think of, then we settled down to watch a little TV. Definitely a magical night. As I have said before, and I'm sure I will say again in the future, I am in love with quality time. It is my absolute favorite to eat good food and have great company. It makes my little heart so happy.
 My sweet friend, Adam
 Everyone pitching in to help! (Andy, Adam, Martin, and Mackenzie)
 Mmmmmh mexican rice!
What a great set-up =]

   Yesterday closed a great weekend. Karissa, my almost housemate, came over for breakfast and to watch the rugby championship. Well, as you might could guess, we never got around to watching the game, seeing that we remained seated at the breakfast table talking well past the end. Once again God blessed me with an amazing conversation. Out of nowhere, I found myself in the middle of talking about the Lord, much like when I talked with Andy. As I continue to pray for opportunities to share, or even just talk about God with someone who doesn't believe the same things as me, He continues to provide. This past week, my heart has been anxiey, itching to desperately tell someone of the love of God, and nearly every day I have been blessed with either long conversations like with Andy and Karissa, or just little fleeting moments. I am humbled because there is nothing in me that is initiating these moments or discourses. This whole time, I have been complaining about how I don't know how to bring God up in a regular conversation with someone who maybe doesn't even believe. And here, in one week, I have been flooded with happenings such as these. I am overwhelmed by how He listens to every prayer, and answers in His own way, in His own timing. Ask, and you really will receive. Seek and you truly will find. Knock, and never stop knocking and the door will fling wide. But never expect it to happen in the way that you expect or even hope! For He is way above all that we can imagine. His plan is good, His will incomprehensible. I cannot wait to see what He has stored for the coming weeks, months, and years.

   Continuing to pray for guidance and direction regarding Haiti and my internship. Something has come up that scares me out of my pants, but it very much might be what God is calling me to in the fall. So praying for strength and willingness to accept His will for my life, no matter what that might be. I continue to pray for the rest of my time here, the people I know, relationships I'm making. Maybe they each encounter the Almighty this semester. I want to lift up my community at home. I know that Satan is hard pressed to beak it apart. I am praying for you. Keep seeking after Him and keep Him as your focal point. Don't let anything come between any one of you. We are all brothers and sisters, so I pray that we will treat each other as such. Finally, I am praying for Haiti, Haiti that is so dear to me. My heart longs to go, and I am in love with its people. So I am trusting God in His timing, and not my own. Now is not the time, He keeps saying to me. Now is not the time... And so I will wait... God, be lifted high. Be glorified.

Peace out!
-B

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Pictures from Le Luberon: October 2nd

 "Oh, let's get rich and buy our parents homes in the South of France.."
 Yeah, I wouldn't mind this view everyday.
 He's everywhere :)
 Roubillion
 Me and Mackenzie at Les Ocres in Roubillion
 Red dirt? Looks like Georgia!
 Mmmmhhh sunshine.... :)
 Les Ocres, Roubillion
 Friends and ice cream: Roubillion
 Le Chateau in Lumerain
 Ms. Summerlin and myself. I really appreciate her :)
 The grave stones of Albert Camus and his wife: Lumerain
Le Chateau de Lumerain
 Me and Jenn in the front yard of le Chateau du Marquis
 It's art....
Le Chateau du Marquis: picturesque South of France!

Day #42: Time to Work


   So it has been a good little while since my last post. Life here is gradually getting busier, and the days shorter. I have three midterms smooched together in this up-coming week, and a paper due the next. But I can't really complain, because though these next two weeks might kill me, the rest of this semester has been pretty much like a vacation thus far. These past 2 weeks since my last post have been rather interesting. Things have definitely been shaken up, but not at all in the way that I had expected or even hoped for. God has a funny way of changing the pace of things and teaching us lessons, for sure.

   On October 5th, I had the opportunity to see "Octopus", la spectacle de danse at Le Grand Theatre. I love dance, so I was rather excited about this. And boy, was it interesting!! I don't think there is anything like this in the States, unless maybe in LasVegas or something, as the female dancers were topless for at least half of the performance. Even still, it was clearly a work of art, from the dancers, to the special effects, to the music. On Saturday, October 8th, I was planning on going to Arles with a small group of friends, but I woke up too late and missed to bus, so I ended up hanging out at the house for the day. I had a delicious lunch of ratatouille over pasta with my host family and a couple of their friends. Luckily, I was able to go to Arles with my host mom's friend, Regina, whom I had previously met when I first came to Aix. She was going there to visit her daughter and offered to take me along so I could see the city. Well, she didn't exactly offer.. Marion asked if she would take me, and she graciously agreed.

   So on Sunday, October 9th, I loaded up in the car and headed to Arles. I had the opportunity to practice my French quite a bit, and Regina was very encouraging and told me that my French had progressed a lot since the beginning of the semester. Upon arriving in Arles, I had coffee and a little snack with Regina and her daughter, Leah, then they gave me a map and set me loose in the city until lunch. I loved it! It was a little chilly and very windy, since it is located on the great Rhone River. The city was a huge Roman settlement, so there are many ancient ruins scattered all about. Seeing as how I am slightly obsessed with the Roman time period, I was fascinated! In the centre ville there is an old arena that has been transformed into an amphitheater. I didn't have the money to tour the inside, but I walked all the way around the outside and took about 20 pictures of the same thing! Aaahhh I loved it. It's beautiful and so big! I'm amazed that 2 thousand years ago it was a place where real live gladiators faught! Okay, enough of my nerdiness... After my little tour of the city that I loved so much, I returned to Leah's little flat for lunch. After eating and warming up with a cup of coffee, Regina took us to a museum of other findings of the Roman world from the river and around the city. Again, I was absolutely in my element. The tour was in French, so I had to pay lots of attention to understand, but I didn't mind. I think I would have been just as attentive if it had been in English!



 My favorite little street that I found :]



The Rhone

   This week in school was pretty busy. I had homework due nearly every day, and midterm on Wednesday. Tuesday was the celebration of four IAUers, all of whom were turning 21. So of course, the festivities included ladies night (many of the bars and nightclubs are free for  females on Tuesdays, which ended up being oddly convenient). I had my first (and last!) shot with Andy at midnight to kick-off her new year of legal drinking. It was interesting, to say the least. I was so scared that I drank it so fast that they couldn't even get a picture of it! I must say, though, ladies night and midnight shots will not be among my normal, weekly activities. I don't need to be in that atmosphere with those temptations on a regular basis without accountability to keep me straight and wise. On a brighter note, I am thankful for my friends here and am glad to have helped celebrate their birthdays. :)
 Mackenzie and me
Andy's traditional birthday shot
Happy Birthday, Andy!! 
   
   I went to the American church college group on Wednesday night, which was wonderful. I really, really needed that. It was so good to worship with my brothers and sisters, and actually sing out loud to my Lord. Again, I really, really needed that. I have been pretty discouraged over the past couple of weeks. My soul has ached for fellowship and I didn't even realize it. If I have learned anything lately, it is that I definitely need the accountability of a community, or even just one or two people. And I've learned how foolish I can be without that accountability. I am so weak and so absolutely retarded. Many times in this past week, I have found myself on my face before the Lord, crying out to Him in repentance for forgiveness, redemption, and that I could just be in His presence. I miss feeling close to Him. I know that He is near, I do, but I want so much to feel Him. I need His reassuring, comforting embrace that tells me that His grace has covered all my stupid mistakes; telling my that I am redeemed. He is my only defense against this world, against myself. 

   On Thursday I went on a little adventure to the Kia dealership with Kate, the girl who works at ICCP (the American church) and leads the college group. It was so great getting to know her a little bit. She has been such an encouragement to me, and I have only started hanging out with her over the past couple of days! After the dealership, we bought some soup, bread, and grapes, and had nice little lunch at the church office. As I am such a sucker for quality time and good conversation (aka fellowship!), this will have to take first place as the highlight of the week. I'm looking forward this developing friendship with Kate :) Yesterday evening (Friday), I spent near three hours with Kate and some other girls from IAU and church, learning how to do the Master Dance from the 2011 National Dance Day. As you probably already know, I am not the greatest of dancers, and learning an entire hip-hop dance in one night is not my specialty. But it was a blast! 
We are all going to learn this dance and do a flash mob somewhere in Aix, and maybe even bust it out in the clubs one night. Haha.
The dance crew: YAMers!

   Today I was supposed to go to La Ciotat with a small group of friends, but much like last Saturday, I woke up too late and missed the bus. I'm pretty disappointed because I really wanted to go! But the way I see, God wanted me home today. I was able to spend some time in His word when I got back from the bus station, and now I'm writing this blog which is well over due. I have lots of studying to do, and now I will be forced to actually do it because I have nothing else to take up my time. I got an email this morning from Dr. Bray saying that Haiti will not be a possibility this spring. I can't tell you how bummed I am! I don't think I've ever wanted something more. I have such a burning passion for that country, those people, and as time goes on, it only burns brighter and hotter. I can only conclude that this desire is from God. But if He has placed it in my heart, then why will He not allow me to go there?? I am frustrated and disappointed, and confused as to where I am supposed to go for my internship. I can't help but think about how I ended up going to New Mexico. I was planning on going to Haiti, but the summer trip got canceled, so I said I didn't care and put down Glorieta on my list of top picks. And looking back, I know that Glorieta was exactly where I needed to be that summer. Is this another New Mexico situation?? My heart is heavy, and my mind full and distracted. 

If faith can move the mountains, Let the mountains move. We come with expectation, Waiting here for You, Waiting here for You.. Your the Lord of creation, and still You know my heart. The Author of salvation, You've loved us from the start... Waiting here for you with our hands lifted high in praise. And it's You we adore, singing Alleluia... You are everything You've promise, Your faithfulness is true. And we're desperate for Your presence, All we need is You.. I will wait for You Lord!! 

   And so I start another week, praying for direction, guidance, and patience to wait for my Lord's timing. Praying to be bathed in His presence, resting at His feet. And continuing to pray for boldness, confidence, and strength to speak out His name and glory. He is sovereign and good, and He knows what He's doing. He knows what's in store for me, and His plan is much bigger and greater than mine. In that I must trust, I must rest. For now, I am here, in Aix-en-Provence, and here is where I am for the next two months. What will I do with this time that is given me??
But seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. (34)Therefore, do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. (Matthew 6:33-34)
Come to Me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. (29)Take My yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. (30)For My yoke is easy and My burden is light. (Matthew 11:28-30)

Peace and love!
-B

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Day #31: Smeared Lines of Routine

  One knows when she has grown accustomed to her surroundings when weeks begin to run together; when days are no longer memorable because of a certain overbearingly consistent routine. Yes, I hate to say it, but I have reached that point. I definitely do not feel like it has been a whole week since my last post, either. My days have grown so predictable and even uneventful. This morning, I found myself praying that God would shake things up in this routine of mine. Because honestly, I'm not the biggest fan of the same routine day after day. Where is the balance between being disciplined and stuck in the same old, same old everyday? I'm so ready to find that balance... like today. One reason why I'm not a fan of this routine I've found myself in, is because I'm so scared of taking the time I have here for granted. I'm scared that I will blink and realize that I'm back home already. I want to get as much as I can from my experiences here. And I want to make a difference, an impact! I think I'm almost scared of being too comfortable. Today! Today I will do something different. I will break my routine. I will break out of my already forming comfort zone!

   Pardon my little rant there. This week was another good one. Last Wednesday I went to GBU which is a college group with the French Bible school here in Aix. I was a little (or a lot!) out of my league since it was all in French, so I didn't say much. Actually, I didn't really say anything at all. I just sat and listened. It was such a blessing to hear college students, people my age, breaking down scripture and really diving into it, picking it apart, and discussing what it means and how we can apply it. It was especially so encouraging to me because it was all in French. I was able to see first-hand the work that the Spirit is doing here in the lives of the Believers. I was talking to Nathalie, a girl I met, and she said that though there aren't a lot of Christians in France, the ones that are here, are passionate and strong. And I couldn't agree more!

   On Thursday we had another little outing with the French Honors program. We went to le Cite des Livres, or in other words, the library. Friday night we had a movie night at the Institute. Everyone brought food and drinks to share, and then we sat down and watched Inception. Which, by the way, I absolutely loved. What a great movie! I recommend it to anyone who hasn't already seen it. I really enjoyed myself. I love seeing everyone being together, laughing, and having fun. It reminded me of the movie nights we have at Shorter, whether it's a movie on the lawn or in Martha's Cellar. Those are always fond memories.

   Saturday, oh Saturday. What an eventful day! A small group (Mackenzie, Andy, Debba, and Will) decided to give St. Victoire another go. But once again, since we had no map, we couldn't find the trail that actually leads up the mountain. So we ended up picnicking on the Zola Dam, then taking a 2 hours trail to another smaller dam. It was beautiful. The weather was perfect, and we were able to see the mountain perfectly, and get a good dose of the French countryside. Once be got back to the bus-stop, we couldn't get on the bus because there were probably 50 other hikers who were trying to get back to the city. So the people in my group had the bright idea to walk back to Aix. Yes, I said walk. So that's what we did... we walked about 10 miles back to city, after hiking for two hours. That was definitely one of my favorite experiences (sarcasm). I don't think my body has recovered yet! My joints are all broken. Yes, all of them. But, as I've said before, good company makes everything better, even walking 10 miles down the road. I really enjoyed the chance to get to know everyone a little more.
 St. Victoire from the Dam
 One day, I will climb that mountain!!
 The other side of the dam
 South of France
 Andy and I

I don't want to walk anymore!! 

   On Sunday, we had another IAU sponsored excursion, except this time we went to Le Luberon which is a well-known region in France. When you think of the "South of France", think of Le Luberon. It was so picturesque with the rolling hills, vineyards, chateaus, quaint little villages, and narrow roads. Absolutely beautiful. We first went to Lourmarin, a town which it known as the home of Albert Camus, a famous French author. We visited the famous chateau there, then went to see Camus' grave. After that, we bought food for a picnic, and headed to Lacoste, a small village in the hills (which would be considered mountains for my fellow Georgians) which is known for the chateau of the Marquis who lived there years ago. We picnicked in his front yard, looking out over Le Luberon Valley. After Lacoste, we made our way to Roussillon, a town that is known for its Ochres, of its red dirt. Honestly, it just reminded me of Georgia red clay! But the contrast of the red mounds against the green trees was absolutely spectacular. I will post up some pictures of this trip later today or tomorrow. 

   And so started another week of classes. It blows my mind that I have been here over a month now! I have a feeling that the next two and a half will fly by, since I will hopefully be traveling more. The past week or so, I have been hanging out with Chloe, my host-sister, more. She often comes in my room and sits with me while I do homework. She shows me her friends on Facebook, or her favorite songs on YouTube. I've also been able to show her pictures of my family and best friends. I've really enjoyed these little bonding moments. More and more we are beginning to actually have conversations about our day or school. She helps me with my French and corrects me when I am saying something wrong. I'm hoping to really get to know her over the rest of the time that I'm here. I want to know her personality, her heart. I hope and pray that I will make an impact on her life in some way. 

   Praying for confidence to speak French more, in order to learn as much as I can. Continuing to pray for the strength of my Lord to give of myself and boldly live for Him. That He will shake things up and protect me from falling into mediocrity and minimal ministry. Healing from lies of the enemy and gaping wounds in my heart. That I would hear Abba's romancing whispers and trust in His affirmation. His words never fail. I will cling onto His promises and Word, for He has a plan and purpose. And I will continue to joyfully wait for His timing and the man He has chosen to be my husband, no matter how lonely I feel, or how far-fetched it seems. Consume me, Lord Jesus!
Ask and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it shall be opened to you. (8)For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one knocks it shall be opened. (9)Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? (10)Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? (11)If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!
(Matthew 7:7-11)