Day #16: First Signs of Fall

   I told myself I would wait to write another post until after I finished my homework, but I just couldn't do it. As the wind powerfully blows outside my window, and Ray LaMontagne softly sings to me from the speakers of my computer, there is a rupture of contemplation that makes my hands itch to write, making it quite impossible to do anything productive. So in short, I gave in; homework will have to wait for a later hour, or maybe even tomorrow.

   This weekend was physically relaxing, but mentally and spiritually draining. For the first time since I arrived here, I was completely and totally English-less, and heard and spoke only French for two whole days when I spent Saturday and Sunday at Port Grimaud with ma famille-d'acceil. Saturday I barely said a word as I was locked up in my mental box and couldn't speak French to save my life. I don't know what it is, but something is continually holding me back. I know I'm better than how I have been speaking, and how little I've been speaking. I finally reached a point Saturday night where I was so discouraged, I excused myself for half an hour before dinner and beseeched my  Lord. More with each day, I'm finding I can do absolutely nothing without Him, not even speak French! After dinner, they sat me down and taught me how to play Tarot, a French card game that is similar to our Spades. Luckily, Spades is my specialty when it comes down to games that I know how to play, so I was able to pick up on Tarot pretty quickly. Well, I say pretty quickly, but they probably thought otherwise.

   Sunday went a lot better, in as I was able to speak a little more, and felt a little less awkward. It also started out on a much better foot. I was first awakened by a loud crack of thunder, and the sound of rain pouring on the balcony just outside my open windows. As I laid there, listening to the storm, I was overwhelmed with peace. I thought about how even the skies, the seas, and all of creation cries out praises to the Almighty God, when man won't even acknowledge His existence. Here, in this dry, dark country, God is still making His name and glory known. Later, after breakfast, I walked around the vender market with Marion and Jean-Paul, then went on a boat tour around the Port with Marion, Chloe and her boyfriend Robin. It was beautiful. The cloudy skies, and chilly breeze added to the beauty of the dark water and made the colors of the houses lining the port seem brighter. It was so peaceful and tranquil; very therapeutic, in my opinion. For lunch, we had a picnic of bread, ham, avocados, lettuce, cream cheese, and swiss cheese. I understand it sounds odd, but it was absolutely delicious. After lunch, we packed up and headed back to Aix. I rode alone with Jean-Paul, and Marion drove Chloe and Robin so she could to Robin to the bus station. Jean-Paul and I had a fairly silent ride, for I was struggling against an on-coming migraine, so slept for about 30 or 45 minutes. When I was awake, and my headache eased, I built up the nerve to start asking questions: small talk. In case you were wondering, the French aren't much for small talk, so the conversation was pretty short-lived. After we got back to Aix, we went to some friends' house for dinner. We had wine, home-made pizza, bread and cheese, green soup, and some other small appetizers. It may have been my favorite meal thus far. Absolutely delicious. God is good. Not only did He bless me with an amazing meal, but He also gave me the ability and strength to, for the most part, stay caught up with the "adult" conversations. I was able to understand each topic, and respond when spoken to or asked questions. So maybe my French is starting to get a little better?

   Today started the third week of classes. Time is so weird here. I feel like I've been gone much longer then just two weeks, but then again, I don't feel like I should be that far into classes. How strange life is! Once again, I am astounded by the beauty of my Lord. Every day I see Him more and more. Before, when I was at home, He poured into me mainly through the people around me, my community. But now, here, I have no community, so He keeps pouring into my heart directly from His. The past few days, though I've had my moments of weakness, I have been submerged in love for Him. I am so peaceful to the very core of my being. Today, as I walked to class, I was listening to the Passion 2011 album on my ipod, and I had to do everything I could from skipping down the street, weeping, laughing, and singing all at the same time. I am overwhelmed with joy in my inner spirit. I am taken so aback because this is no typical "spiritual high", for I haven't been to any huge, emotional worship services lately. It is simply God the Father, lavishing His daughter in love. How beautiful He is! I know this entry is so "churchy" and cliche, but I can't contain the joy that I have. I must get it out in some way!So be encouraged, wherever and whoever you are. God is good, so good, and He longs to pour out His love and grace on you. Rest in Him. And be no discouraged if you can't see Him or feel Him with you... He's there. He never leaves... Grasp onto that, and never stop trusting and hoping in it.

My God, you are here with us,
Constantly here with us.
You are our Everything,
Faithful and true...

Then one of the elders addressed me, saying, "Who are these, clothed in white robes, and from where do they come?" (14)I said to him, "Sir, you know." And he said to me, "These are the ones coming out of the great tribulation. They have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb. (15)Therefore they are before the throne of God, and serve Him day and night in His temple; and He who site on the throne will shelter them with his presence. (18)They shall hunger no more, neither thirst anymore; the sun shall not strike them nor any scorching heat. (17)For the Lamb in the midst of the throne will be their Shepherd, and He will guide them to springs of living water, and God will wipe away every tear from the eyes." 


Worthy is the Lamb that was slain....


Until next time,

-B